for more exciting news... i'm officailly and finally over david labahn. however, i replaced him with someone else, of course. it never seems as though i can just stop liking a guy and not like anyone. i always have to start liking someone else. but seriously, for the first time i was able to be in the same room as him and not have butterflies. and not just once, but twice. crazy right?! i talked to martha about it and she said that it's just unhealthy to like david. cause he obviously doesn't know what he wants and after i would hang out with him i'd just be upset. or if he didn't talk to me i'd be all bummed or something. he's just one of those people that is always gonna be the friend and nothing more, at least for me. so who did i replace those feelings with? jesse p. that's right, my soon to be co-worker jesse peterson. i honestly haven't been able to stop thinking about him for the last week. i help him with a sonshine club right now and i love it. he's such an amazing guy. i think that i've had feelings for him for a while, i've just been trying to hide them. i don't know why. but i wouldn't admit to anyone that i like him. then finally i was talking to martha on monday and i told her. she said that she likes the idea of me and jesse much better than me and david. the next person i told was kelsey and she said the same thing. then i told amanda and she kinda freaked on me. just cause she used to like him and i would always rag on her about it. but she was like obsessed and she didn't even know him. she only knew what i told her. she never talked to him or anything, i honestly don't think he knows she even exists. lol. but she said as long as i'm happy she's happy for me. she just doesn't wanna see me hurt like i was with david. and i understand, i just didn't really wanna hear it. lol. i know to be careful and to guard my heart and i'm going to. it was just exciting for me to tell her, but it didn't seem like she was excited for me. it was more like she was forced to be happy for me. idk whatever. then i told my mentor sarah sheldon. she was elated! the whole time we were talking about it all she could say was i love jesse, he's the best, he's the most amazing guy, he's my favorite. it was really funny. she also told me that i need to guard my heart but i expect that from her, she is my mentor after all. so we talked about ways i can do that, especially since i'm gonna be working with him and seeing him a lot more. the only thing we really came up with was me not texting or calling him unless it had something to do with sonshine club, work, or kids church. i thought that was a good idea since it was kind of a rule i had for myself with david also. that way i can't set myself up for disappointment. if i don't invite him to do something, i can't be disappointed when he says no. i don't really know what else to do. i'm just gonna be praying about it a lot. and not that God would let us date. but just that His will would be done. ya it would be great to date jesse, but i don't want to unless it's what God has for us, otherwise it's a meaningless relationship and i don't want that, i know he doesn't either. it's kinda funny that i like him. i don't know why. i guess i just feel like we're so different, probably just because he's pretty quiet and keeps to himself. but he is an amazing guy. you can just see it when he talks about God how much he love Him. you can tell he really studies the Bible because he's knowledgeable about it. the way he worships is incredible. he doesn't do it because he's supposed to but because he wants to and that's very evident. he's really funny too. he's always making me laugh and always puts a smile on my face. oh so the last person i told was amanda gonzales. she was just like aw you're all dressed up, for someone special? and i was like, maybe. so she said, oh ya Jesus huh? so i said, no, someone else special (keep in mind this is right after i got done talking to jesse). so she just looked at me and i instantly turned red and started laughing. she asked me who it was and i told her to guess. so of course the first person she said was jp. and i couldn't hide it. so i just told her how weird it was for me to say that i like him, even though it's been like a week since i've really noticed it. i dunno i just never pictured myself liking him. i've always known that he's a great guy, i could just never picture me with him. but i guess i can now. so ya. i'm just gonna pray that God's will would be done in this, that i wouldn't jump the gun and get ahead of myself or God's plans. that i would be content just being friends with him while we get to know each other better and see what happens. all i can say now is that i can't wait for this summer and until i get to start working with him. it is gonna suck not being able to do a sonshine club with him though :/
so ya anyway. i'm also going on a missions trip this summer. 17 days in Maui with becky lang and amanda :) it's gonna be awesome. the first week we're doing a music camp. the second week we're doing a vbs and outreaches to the local skate parks. it's gonna be amazing. i can't wait to go and see how God uses me!
well for now i need to get to bed. it's late and i have a long weekend ahead of me.
oh one more thing...
IT'S SUMMER!!!!!!!!!
